As I've always said before, I will blog in the good and blog in the bad. For the most part that is the truth. Though the months have passed and life has "happened," I've finally made it back. :)
I have not blogged since my very last visit back home. As you may recall, I discussed the importance of taking a step back, breathing, and being grounded. Very soon after my visit, I began working on the book I've been writing for several years. As I read back through that writing today, I'm reminded of what I wrote: "I believe that when we are grounded, as we should be, God directs our steps and all that we encounter and experience are meant to be."
In the past 4 month, I've learned a lot. I've learned a lot about life, marriage, family, friends, and myself. I've learned a lot about those people in my life that are most important to me and at the same time I've learned a lot about those people that are considered simply acquaintances.
I find it interesting that some people do not keep in touch until something different is going on in your life. Then, as they find out that many drastic changes have been happening, they react as if they were entitled to always know what was going on or they react with confusion and wonder why you wouldn't tell them what was happening while it was happening.
My reflection is that those really close to you have walked with you through those changes, so they never feel that anything is "drastic." Several years ago I learned an important lesson about friends. Friends do NOT leave you standing in your pain. Those that do were not your true friends. Since then, I'm very careful with whom I choose to discuss personal matters. I have been extremely blessed to have a couple of really great, true, loyal, and dedicated friends. It's taken me almost 30 years to find the kind of friendships that I only read or heard about.
With that being said, I've also learned that it sometimes takes 30 years for a person to realize that something isn't right, to realize that giving a good try is good enough, that being complacent or unhappy isn't always the best option for everyone. I've learned that no one, NO ONE, can truly judge another because they have not walked in their shoes.
This is the case with Paul and me. As many of you have noticed, our marriage has ended, our family has changed, our lives have taken a different path. Reactions have been vast. Some are shocked, some are not surprised at all, some are taking sides, some are hopeful, some are saddened, some feel they know what's best for us, some believe they truly know us even though they've never spent more than an hour or two with us and our girls. I do understand that it's people's nature to be curious and ask questions. I'm ok with that. However, I will not go into detail. Those that know us, know our story, know our truth, know what lies ahead. I will not apologize to those that don't. This is a very private matter for us, especially as the girls are involved.
Know this, though, we are ok. The girls, Paul, and myself are all at a point of transition and are doing well, for the most part. We each have the love and support of families and friends and the girls have an abundance of love from so many people in our lives. There have been bumps along the way as would be expected in any situation similar to ours. However, life still goes on. In my experience, as long as we are still alive there are lessons to learn, moments to live and love to give.
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