Lost

I'm sure I'm not alone when I tell you that I've lost many things in my life. The biggest was when I lost my brother. One minute he was there with me, the next he was gone and a new life began forming without him. I had been so identified with my role as the big sister of two brothers that it was painful to figure out who I was without him.

I can think of another time when I lost my senior ring. Wow. My parents paid a lot for me to be able to wear it and I just lost it. I panicked and took hours to go back to parking lots to search. Eventually, a friend and I found it in the grass by my car. However, for those few hours nothing could take my mind off of what I'd lost. I was so identified with the possession of it (or maybe the amount of trouble I'd be in) that I thought of nothing else.

As some of you know, I've finished reading A New Earth and have now moved on to listening to the podcasts while I run in the mornings. At first it was only for 20 minutes, but now I'm up to working out about 45 minutes to an hour each morning at 5:30. I recently took note of this quote, "Do you realize that you will have to let go at some point, perhaps quite soon? How much more time do you need before you will be ready to let go? Will you become less when you let go of it? Has who you are become diminished by the loss? "

This morning I had to ask myself these same questions. My diamond from my engagement ring fell out without my knowledge. A student pointed it out to me and I immediately grew tense. I thought to myself, "How will I ever find that? I've been to the track, 2 schools, a few parking lots and another house all the time getting in and out, in and out. That was just from 5:30-8 am." As I was calling Paul, another student said, "Is this it?" SHE FOUND IT! :)

But then I started thinking that having that ring or not doesn't make me any less married. It is greatly sentimental to me. It doesn't erase my relationship with Paul, though. It is not/was not my identity. I would be able to live w/out it. After all, I am not my things. None of us are, but so many of us believe that our worth is in what we own, what we have. Many people believe that just because some people don't own the best, they are not worthy of conversation, love, or courtesy.

I brought up the above quote for the simple fact that the subject was actually a story about a lady who lost her grandmother's ring. She lost it, but in turn learned that she was not her things. She learned that "Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at this moment."

Three is the Magic Number

Avery turns 3 on Thursday. I can't believe it was that many years ago that we were in the delivery room, her arrival just a few seconds away. I remember vividly that we were talking about the Mavs in the playoffs, explaining how the name "Avery" wasn't for Avery Johnson and watching the coverage of the pope's inauguration. "We" meaning my doctor and myself. LOL! This pregnancy and delivery was way more "fun" than with Maddie. I was feeling great and ready to see my Avy Faith.
Here are some Avery-isms that have been memorable the past week:

1. There's a thunder monster under my bed! (referring to the thunderstorm)

2. Mama, I so proud of you, baby girl. ( not sure what I did, but she was repeating what I always tell her)

3. Am I gonna have my pahty (party) at the pahk (park)? Can we go in the cah(car)?

4. Chahley's (Charley) a bobcat, mom! (she learned this British accent that she continually uses in sporadic places)

5. Why does the cow go moo, moo, moo? (I don't know.) POPCORN!

6. What's the cow's favorite snack? (I don't know. ) POPCORN!

We've just embarked on the potty training era of our lives once more. Hopefully, it will not be a long drawn out process. Our days are now full of timers, potties in select styles, panties of all sorts, stickers, sticker charts and wipes - lots and lots of wipes. :)

Here's to my crazy, stunning, fun girl, Avery ~ I love you madly, too, sister!

Who's Weight Is This?

I'm blogging after an extra hard workout today. It's been almost 3 weeks since I've tailored my workout plan, eating, and lifestyle to work around a medication free body. I've been working out a minimum of 6 days a week, began lifting weights and have been doing a specific ab workout daily. I know lifting weights usually adds muscle and I know that it takes some time to shed extra lbs.

I bought a scale today against my better judgment only to find that I'm exactly the same as I was the day I went to the dr. I look in the mirror and down at the scale asking myself the same question over and over.....WHO'S WEIGHT IS THIS?! How can this be my body? How do I sculpt it back to the one I knew a few years ago?
It discourages me, it disgusts me, it motivates me, it WILL come off eventually.
Who's with me in this battle? Anyone willing to be accountability buddies?

My goal is to lose 20 lbs for now. Well, see how that works out for me (pun intended)..........

Who Have You Seen Lately?

I decided today I would join all those materialistic, star-gazed people who adore celebrities and forget that they, too, are human. :)

I've been thinking of doing a blog like this for some time. It seems to be an everyday thing - celebrity spotting - now that we live in the metroplex. I thought I'd account for you some of the people we've encountered while we've been here. Chances are you know them or have seen them, too!

1. Dirk Nowitzki - today Paul called me while driving home from work to report that he spotted Dirk driving around Frisco in his German-made Mercedes with a license plate that reads: MAVS41. If you know my husband, you know what a big deal this was, even if he was only able to glance at the tall, blonde driver.

2. Deion Sanders - he lives about 5 miles down the road. We pass his multi-million dollar mansion every time we go to the mall or to the health food market. Once we saw them filming him driving down the road. I use to adore Deion in all of his glory with the Dallas Cowboys. That was until I witnessed his unkind reception of young fans. I have students who know students who go to his house, or whose parents visit with him often. Word is that he's pretty much the same now, too. Catch a glimpse of his world in the new Oxygen show "Prime Time Love" which airs on Tuesdays at 9:30 pm. I'm certain one time will be all you need. Am I marketing for him? Nah, I just thought you'd like to see just how big of an ego he really does have even if he is the producer. :)

3. Omar Stoutmire - technically we didn't see him, but his wife and kids at the local park. That was the day Avery said "The Cowboys suck" in response to his wife's comment that he played for the Cowboys. Interestingly, enough his wife, Sheila, is a personal trainer for many including my Sunday School co-worker. She invited me to join them this summer for a full on boot camp. Ouch! My muscles already hurt!

4. Dan Campbell - about a year ago, we were all shopping and wasting time at SuperTarget. The girls were famished (yeah right) and so we stopped at the snack area for some popcorn and a drink. While Paul was standing in line, he realized as only a sports fanatic would that Dan was standing right in front of him with his own kids. Paul peered through people to watch them eat their pizza and then when Dan rose to leave, Paul jetted over to shake his hand. What a gracious man, he was, especially when Paul thought he was Jason Witten. ;)

5. Anthony Lynn - he is a former running back and now assistant coach for the Cleveland Browns. He spent some time on the Dallas Cowboys coaching staff as well. Oddly enough, a few years ago after my parents had moved to NM, we continued hearing about this particular "friend" my mom made. That friend was the mother-in-law of Anthony. His son is a senior this year and is a dynamic football player.

6. Craig James - now a college football commentator for CBS, among other things. He's played football, reported sports, but mainly is a great supporter of his children and their activities. He attends our home church and I was greatly touched by his ability to report games miles across the country and still be at church on Sunday with his family. I've taught 2 of his children and his wife was my substitute when I was out on maternity leave. He's an all around great guy and his family is just as great!

Well, that's about it for now - I'm sure there are some I'm forgetting - like Randy White, who we saw mowing his lawn and Joe Alvazono, who just opened a sports bar in the area (see the sports theme here?). I thought I'd share with you something I found recently on a website for the surrounding area:

You may be lucky enough to see LeAnn Rimes gallivanting around town as she owns a luxury home in Prosper.

To be honest, I don't think I've seen anyone ever gallivanting around any town - ever, but these are way more sightings than I was ever exposed to in that little West Texas town where I grew up. ;)

Space to Grow

What a week! Since my acceptance of my new job and duties for next year, I've been involved in more meetings than I ever thought possible. It has been a change for me - being around adults more than teens. It's a whole new territory for me.

Our district is actively looking for a new principal and I've been involved in small ways with that, too. The loss of our current principal is one that I take hard as my new video tech program is really his vision that I've agreed to carry out. He's leaving education to go into the ministry. It's a calling for him, just as taking this new position was a "calling" for me. I wish him the best of luck, but his absence will be felt for a while.

One other big change in our lives is actually quite small. We spent the weekend moving the girls into their own rooms. They've shared a room for almost 3 years. There have been hugs, tears, fights, yelling, and love, but the closeness was always there. However, Maddie made the decision to change up the sleeping arrangements. We'd painted out playroom with the thought that eventually she'd take that as her own room. However, for a whole year she resisted b/c she felt it was too far away from mine and Paul's room.

After watching an episode of John and Kate + 8, she looked at me and I knew it was time. So, after 5 hours of moving furniture, cleaning out toys, drawers, and movies - they each had their own space for the first time since we've been a family of 4.

Paul and I decided to leave Avery's toddler bed up until she decided she was ready for the "big girl" bed that Maddie had used since she was 3. We thought by summer she'd be ready, especially with turning 3 and soon to be potty training. When we asked if she'd like to sleep in the big bed, her answer was a solid "no" and we'd accepted that. Time for bed came and she did not hesitate to let us know that she was a big girl now and would be sleeping in the big girl bed.

Funny how nature works. Spring time is my favorite season because of all the newness that comes with it. New beginnings, new adventures, new growth. Once we have a little space to stretch our arms and legs, we are able to grow to heights we'd never expected.

Is Girl Your Favorite Word, Too?

As embarrassing as it might be, I was a huge NKOTB fan from the time I was in Jr. High until I reached driving age. I had the videos, the CD's, the t-shirt, and all the albums. I could even tell you particular people's favorite kid (for example classmate Connie Rios' fav was Jordan) - mine was Joe McIntyre. I know I drove my parents crazy with all those Teen Beat Magazines that they bought just so I could post all the posters I could find all over my walls.

Reflecting on this is always comical to me. I remember actually thinking that I would marry Joe one day. Ha! You can't say I didn't have faith. :)

Tonight, I happened to turn on the TV at the right moment. I saw a clip of NKOTB on the Today Show discussing their reunion after 20 years. How awkward to see all of the "kids" who are really older than me now (31) all together again. But I will admit that a tinge of excitement hit me and I smiled.

5 minutes later I'd located 3 of my old VHS tapes and popped them in the VCR. For the next hour, the girls and I were singing and dancing the night away. I looked up and Paul was laughing at us without breathing. lol! I never noticed before how many times they have the word "girl" either in the title, in the first few lines, or in the chorus. Madison even pointed it out and said "Mom, are all their songs about girls?"

To quote a fellow Connick/MySpace friend: "If they tour I'm going. I don't care how much BIGGER of a dork this statement makes me."

Here are some of my fav songs (and, yes, I now realize how many ways there are to make fun of them) :

Right Stuff
Hangin' Tough
Please Don't Go Girl
Tonight
Cover Girl
I'll Be Loving You Forever
Didn't I Blow Your Mind?
My Favorite Girl
This One's For the Children
Baby I Believe in You
I Remember When
Where Do I Go From Here
Call It What You Want
Time Is On Our Side


NKOTBFFL signing off.............

I'm Good!

Just a quick update regarding health -

Wow. It's been 4 days since I started my 2 week detox plan and I feel excellent! I think I've lost about 3 lbs since Wednesday and have had more energy than ever. Today I did the laundry, the dishes, cleaned out 2 closets, and cooked twice! This is a big, big deal. The meds I was on caused my life to be completely different. I just can't believe it took me 18 months to figure out what I was missing!

Lovin' life........

Overweight Tisha vs. Skinny Tisha

Ha! The title actually cracks me up. I cannot believe I'm really throwing out this topic on my blog. Have I no shame? Yes, but I know that my message/experience might help someone else. Thus, the reason for my blog title today. Buckle up and hang on.......

Life Recap

Skinny Tisha - high school, college, in between pregnancies

Overweight Tisha - pregnancies, post pregnancies, and now

Tisha has Crohn's disease - diagnosed at 11 - flare ups common

I'm not going to lie - My current weight is scary. (no I will not reveal it here) First off, I pride myself in my eating and exercising habits. I shop for only the good stuff to put into my body at places like Sprouts, Whole Foods, and Natural Health Market. I workout at least 4 times a week at 30 minutes each time. I stay away from all sodas and most junk food. I will have the occasional chocolate treat, though. (who doesn't?)

It sounds like since I'm not pregnant and live a semi-healthy life that I should be in tip top shape, right?

Wrong. To no avail I haven't lost a single pound. For the last six months, I've gained a total of 5 lbs/month. I, for the life of me, couldn't figure out why. I was close to beating my head against a brick wall. So, last week it all finally clicked and I had that so-called "Aha" moment. All the weight gain, severe headaches, and my over occurrences of Crohn's flare ups have most likely been caused by a particular medication that I've been taking. (e-mail me if you want to inquire more) That's the only thing it could POSSIBLY be. After a little research, I found that many, many, many others were having the same if not WORSE side effects from this particular drug. This is not good. Many of them were seeing their drs only to be told it was "in their head" and would prescribe them MORE medication for whatever side effects the first medication was causing. Seem a little off to you? Me, too. So, I decided my next step was to rid myself of this medication.

Today I had a visit with the dr. and discussed my concerns. I'm glad to report I'm now officially off the meds. My mind is more at ease now and I can work on finding the body and "Tisha" I once before knew. I know the drs know way more than I do, but for once I'm taking my own health into my own hands and looking for some alternatives to the regular Rx we are usually suggested to take.

Overweight Tisha has noticed a real difference in the way she's treated in public now as opposed to how Skinny Tisha was treated in those same places. I'm sure many of you have been in this exact position. Isn't it sad that weight really has that much to do with judgment and the level of friendliness or help you receive?

Aha! Maybe the reason for obesity ISN'T just that people aren't making good choices with food. Maybe, just possibly these people are like me. Trusting of their physicians knowledge and taking many things that are altering that person's body makeup despite the excellent lifestyle they live.

I don't know about you, but I have only one body and I'm the ONLY advocate for the good stuff that I put in there. I have learned a lot through this experience. I've started a body cleansing regimen and am back on the road to a healthier lifestyle! I hope you are, too! :)