Mourning and Never-ending Remembrance

While reading To Kill A Mockingbird this week with my sophomore advanced English classes, a certain quote stood out to me. "Children are children, but they can spot an evasion quicker than adults, and an evasion simply muddles them." - Atticus Finch

I'm very certain that this hold true in most every case. So, when I came home today after a rough day at work, I was not surprised byAvery's extra hugs. I tried to hide my emotion and just enjoy her company, but she sensed the inevitable - mom is sad.

It does not matter how many times I go through it, how many people it affects, how well prepared you think you are or how it happened. The pain is the same. It is what it is everytime. Pain is pain is pain. It does not matter how old you are or how much wiser you believe you are - death is still a very difficult, raw emotion to wrap your brain and heart around. The absence of a loved-one and, moreso, of a precious child, especially that of a vibrant student is a hard thing to swallow.

After a very emotional day at school, I realize that no matter what I say or what I do, I cannot take a person's pain away. I should know this from first-hand experience. Yet, the depths of my soul always urge me to do something to "help," even if it's just a hug or a prayer. The truth is that this day has been very difficult and I continue to struggle every minute with why. However, Kelsey was such a strong example to her peers, as well as to her teachers. She touched everyone's life without knowing the fullness of her touch. Her faith was strong and I know that her spirit is now able to be with all of those that loved her so very much.Here is a link to hear Kelsey's beautiful voice: http://www.purevolume.com/unanimouslove

Later on in the evening, here's what Avery said to me as we headed out the door to the park: "Don't let go of me, mom. Hold me tight." What an angel! This brought tears to my eyes and caused me to clench her tighter. She squealed in delight! Take time to give someone you love a big hug and when they pull away, if you feel the urge, tell them not to let go or to hold on a little tighter. You never know if that hug might be your very last with that special person. Those hugs may leave a lasting legacy.