When I ask people this, no matter if it's in passing or not, I really mean it. I try to ask people often, but like everyone else I get caught up in my own "stuff." Lately, I've been caught up in a lot of my own "stuff." I'm sure there are people out there that understand and some that don't. For those friends, true friends, I appreciate that you've recently contacted me to ask me how I am really doing. I especially appreciate those friends that have stood with me through thick and thin. You know who you are and I want you to know that I love you.
I recently talked to a close friend who in the past week decided to let go of something very precious. Something that had taken a lot of time, dedication and money. This friend said something that caught my attention. "No one bothered to ask me if I was happy. No one bothered to ask me how I was really doing." The effect of this friend's decision was that many, many people became frustrated and angry about their decision. Wow. This surprised me b/c if they had just asked, they would've seen that this person wasn't really ok with the way their career was going.
Here's my frustration today. Those people who don't ask. There are people who assume. There are people who are so cowardly that they can only hide. They hide behind their words at times. They hide behind their religion. They hide behind their unconsciousness. They hide behind their "holier than thou" attitude. They hide behind their closed minds. They hide behind their "rightness." They hide behind others. They can only make judgements. They believe they know the whole story. I am so disappointed by these people who are out there in the world. Unfortunately, I know that there will always be people like this out there. Some as neighbors, some family, some so-called friends.
The thing about life is that no one walks in your shoes, our shoes, my shoes. They think their beliefs, ideals, and lives are perfect. I don't. My life has not been perfect. My decisions have never been perfect. My parenting skills aren't perfect. My communication skills aren't perfect. My marriage was not perfect. My career has not been perfect. My childhood wasn't perfect. My life was not perfect. Ever. I have never claimed that nor will I ever claim that. It seems, though, that through many conversations, blogs, e-mails, and in-person conversations so many people get only one side of any story. That's a shame because there are ALWAYS 3 sides to every story. One person's perspective, the other person's perspective and then what really happened. It doesn't matter how people get to a certain point in their lives. No matter where that point is we all need love, support and friendship. If you don't like a certain person or a person's decisions, fine. Move on. Don't tear them down, though, because you don't understand what it's like being in their skin.
All I'm hoping to achieve with this blog is a level of consciousness. Don't be so wrapped up in your own "stuff" and let a friendship, a relationship, or a stranger pass you by w/out asking people how they really are doing. Ask them their side of any story. Ask them if they are happy. Ask them if they're hurting. Ask them if they need anything. Ask them if they have anything going on that might need prayer, guidance, counsel, friendship, or just love. Ask them "How are you?" and MEAN IT.
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