Celebrating "Real" Life

On Thursday, Paul and I will celebrate our 8th wedding anniversary. I will tell you, first, how incredibly blessed I am to have him in my life. I know, without a doubt, that he will go above and beyond for me and the girls. That alone is such a testament of his love.

However, I will not paint the "perfect" picture with my words. We are what we are. A married couple like many couples out there. We are stressed, always out of money, trying to keep up with busy schedules, frustrated with each other when we don't see eye to eye, tired after long days at work, unmotivated to do chores, and are always trying to find ways to spend more time together without 2 little girls always running around squealing. More often than not, we've forgotten how blissful and romantic a relationship can be.

In church on Sunday, our teacher was teaching on complacency. One of the things he mentioned was how husbands and wives should keep God first and each other 2nd and kids 3rd. It was not the first time I've heard that statement. A telephone interview several years ago with author SQuire Rushnell seemed to relay that same idea. He said, "To have and to hold" means to hold each other up and to keep God in the middle at all times."

As a mom, it is incredibly difficult for me to "put my kids 3rd." But the truth of the matter, is that Paul and I have learned the hard way: if we do not carve out time for us, then we are no good for the girls or each other. Our relationship is what started our family and if we do not invest time to maintain and show each other how important we are to one another, we will crumble. I can, honestly, tell you that there was a time in our lives where we both didn't think we'd make it through. It took a great valley for us to reorganize our priorities.

I think in this day and age many people are always trying to have something better than the person next to them. Are we not on a constant basis judging ourselves? .....we need a better car....a bigger house......more clothes.......a better birthday party......a marriage like "theirs".....

There are even times that we think that all of those things will magically fix our problems or problematic relationships. However, after a few years of diving deep into our relationship and learning about each of our pasts, tendencies, likes, needs, and wants, I've learned that whatever issues I have will always be present no matter who I am with unless I actually take accountability and begin working on those issues head on. The same for Paul and as he and I have discussed - most likely the same for everyone. Nothing material can change your issues. Nothing material will ever love you back. Nothing material can ever bring you as much joy as you can have helping someone else. Nothing material can ever take the place of a person.

So, today I celebrate our real, raw marriage and remember all the things I love about Paul; all the things that I fell in love with and all the new things I've discovered:

He'd rather listen to slow, sad music than fast, crazy music.

He can always make fun of the newscasters/weathermen at the drop of a hat.

He enjoys the first 30 minutes with his girls most after he gets home from work.

His body jerks when he's falling asleep.

He can calm me or the girls with the sweep of one hand.

He'd rather have pie for his birthday than cake.

He hates eggs but loves French toast.

His favorite Christmas movie is It's a Wonderful Life.

He can debate any philosophical issue at 6 am, but has a difficult time talking about anything after 9 pm.

His mood is always based on the Cowboys' win/loss.

He can write poetry in a matter of minutes.

He will never, ever, ever eat any vegetable except tomatoes.

He always buys gum during every visit to the store.

He has many talents, gifts and strengths that he's not even yet began to see in himself.

Happy Anniversary, Paul. We've come a long way since that cold, snowy December night.

love,
your "sassy" girl