Your Last Day.....

Well, I wish I was writing to you from a place of great happiness and joy, but this blog is sort of somber. I have had a very happy and great summer thus far, but this month always trips me up.

In the past month, I've had at least one person a week ask me about being adopted. It makes me wonder if God is urging me to continue on to find out more about my "story." Someone asked me a question that has never been asked of me in 31 years. "Do you hate your birth mother for giving you away?" Wow. I'd never even thought of that before. No. I don't. As a mom myself, I know that that act alone is one of the greatest acts of love. How difficult to give away the tiny life you had with you for 9 months. :(

This month marks the 20 year anniversary of my brother's death. There are so many people around me dealing with the death of a loved one lately. There are a few things I never say: "I know just how you feel." "It'll be fine." "You'll be fine." "It'll get better." and my favorite - the generic "I'll pray for you." Not to discredit those that are truly praying, but it's like people are just afraid to dive into that sea of sorrow with you. After all, their lives pick right back up and become normal. Your life, on the other hand, has to become a new normal. I truly just want to find a way to leave a legacy to my brother and my family - maybe with the writing of my book, maybe with something else. I am determined to continue on the journey of a greater understanding and a way to ease that scar that is still on my heart. 

I was visiting an artist's page and found a song called "Your Last Day." Wow. It brought tears to my eyes and gave me a new perspective on life/death and my adoption. I know it was not a coincidence - as is nothing in my life thus far. 

Here are the lyrics:

Your Last Day

I’d take you in my arms
I’d hold you close to me, for all the world to see
I’d sit and watch the waves
Say, “I love you more than life, love you more than I can say”

All the time I spent just wasting away
This is how I should have lived; this is how you have to stay

Tell me what you’d do if this were your last day to love
Will you look up high above?
Tell me what you’ll feel if this is your last day to live
But there’s so much more for you, for you to give
This is you last day

I’d kiss you with my heart
Say “be happy for always, and don’t forget to pray”
I’d watch the sunrise
And look deep into your eyes, tell you not to cry

All the time I spent just wasting away
This is how I should have lived; this is how you have to stay

Tell me what you’d do if this were your last day to love
Will you look up high above?
Tell me what you’ll feel if this is your last day to live
But there’s so much more for you, for you to give
This is you last day

You’ve given me more than I wished for
Please forgive me if I ever wanted more
Chorus
Tell me what you’d do if this were your last day to love
Will you look up high above?
Tell me what you’ll feel if this is your last day to live
But there’s so much more for you, for you to give
This is you last day


Please go listen to this song.....Danny Wood is the artist.......